Introduction

This writing provides me with an opportunity to reflect on the early experiences I have had with Coaching Supervision, how I viewed it at the start, how my perspective on it evolved, my understanding of what it is and my appreciation. I will also reflect on the learnings gleaned, the diverse people I have met on the journey and how I have changed because of my learnings on a Diploma in Coaching Supervision and via my experiences as a supervisee and as a Coaching Supervisor.

What were early experiences of being a Coaching Supervisee?

The first time I heard about Coaching Supervision was as I journeyed through a group coaching experience. I believe it had been mentioned during my coaching course, but it was abstract and didn’t sink in. Not wanting to break the rule of engaging a Coaching Supervisor at least quarterly, I immediately took it upon myself to take on a supervisor. It was rather dark research. I didn’t find any helpful information through a google search, I didn’t know how much it would cost and I didn’t know why I was doing it – except to fulfill a requirement of the coaching industry body.

My motto during that period was to ‘just do it’, and I was searching for a needle in a haystack. Normally, when I engage suppliers, I like to get three quotes. This time, I did not. I went on a global directory and sought after a person who I thought might have a global outlook and could understand and possibly support my goal of expanding my coaching practice internationally. I was full of innate excitement and hope, and I just knew this was a big deal and that this person would help me on the next level of my personal and professional transformation. I just knew it!

“There may have been elements of classical transference where the person took on the role of an authoritative parent and transference where I prefer to work autonomously and dislike ‘interference’ of hierarchy.”

That may well have been the result of the experience, but it certainly didn’t happen in the way I expected it, nor did I achieve the result I wanted. It was a very real learning experience and, in many ways, has been the greatest real-life learning experience for me on this journey so far. A lesson in how I want to be as a supervisor and it amplified my own wants and needs as a supervisee.

There may have been elements of classical transference where the person took on the role of an authoritative parent and transference where I prefer to work autonomously and dislike ‘interference’ of hierarchy. I felt there was also countertransference or perhaps this showed up as a parallel process where both parties, the coach and supervisor, subconsciously brought particular mindset issues to the relationship.

“It highlighted for me the need for clear boundaries, respectful rapport building, open verbal contracting and GDPR provisions.“

It was through the engagement with my first supervisor that I saw so sharply the difference between who I want and do not want to be as a supervisor. It highlighted for me the need for clear boundaries, respectful rapport building, open verbal contracting and GDPR provisions. I came to learn to respect the restorative space, the capacity of a supervisor, awareness of self and awareness of the relationship. Being natural, real, human, and not following a textbook approach seem to me to be the most authentic and useful way.

This experience parallels with my experience of coaching. It was through hiring therapists, counsellors, coaches in previous years that I came to know what it is I like to be on the receiving end of the helping profession. It has informed me to know how I would like to support people and what I believe to be unethical, unhelpful, and even damaging. Perhaps being on the receiving end is the best education. ‘And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them’ (Luke 6:31).

“It makes our role even more intriguing to access all levels and sides, try to acknowledge blind spots and evoke realizations.”

With that in mind, I decided to declutter my life of situations and people that drained my energy and caused sleepless nights, and I engaged a coach. I spoke with my coach about it and after several months, I finally felt justified enough to write to the Coaching Supervisor to suggest ending the contract. It’s interesting to think about our blind spots as supervisors and can our own Coaching Supervisor (Supervisor of Supervisor) bring those out if he/she receives only one side of the story. It makes our role even more intriguing to access all levels and sides, try to acknowledge blind spots and evoke realizations.

“The individual decisions to commit fully allow for a greater communion of collaboration to flourish.”

I attended a Coaching Supervisor community event where we spoke about courage. What I took away was the need to be courageous with my Coaching Supervisor. The previous learning experience plus my new tool to be courageous led me to more discomfort in the hope that previous lessons learned would not be repeated. I had come across a very experienced Coaching Supervisor in the previous year who I thought would be a good fit should the need arise. I approached her and she agreed. We had an exploratory session and yet again, I felt like I was a pawn to try things out on and it did not sit well with me. I couldn’t proceed with this feeling. Armored with courage, I wrote a few pages describing where I was on my coaching journey, where I had come from, where I wanted to go and what I believed I want from Coaching Supervision. It made me feel like a tough customer, but the truth is that I am the customer, I am paying for a service, and it is about my needs and wants and not the wants and needs of the supplier. There is, of course, a massive collaborative element to all of this, but it is imperative the supervisees needs are acknowledged and understood.

Each person is different and has differing needs, communication, reflective and learning styles and a one-size-fits-all does not work. This process helped me to enter a place of deep contract negotiation, being open from the start about what I want, having the courage to stand up for myself and know it is my decision regardless the outcome. The supervisor can then decide to accept or reject. The individual decisions to commit fully allow for a greater communion of collaboration to flourish. To conclude, I had the first session with my new coaching supervisor, and it was perfect, it was alternative, and it was a good start, which I even enjoyed.

What were early experiences as Coaching Supervisor?

My first official coaching supervisee downloaded fervidly, recounting a recent client experience he had, the challenges, the successes, how he felt, how the client felt. It was an intense first experience, very real, energetic, open, trusting and I welcomed it. I mostly listened, reflected a little and asked a few questions to keep us on track.

I have mentored approximately 200 coaches in obtaining their EMCC accreditation. During those conversations, I have supported them reflecting on their lifelong journey in the context of coaching and mentoring, where they are on their coaching journey now, where they have come from, and what are their development aspirations going forward. I believe the role added to the confidence and ease which I feel now as I speak with ‘official’ supervisees. I have also facilitated groups, in the same way of reflecting and guiding, which paves the way to enable me to facilitate group supervision.

“It brought contracting to life for me i.e., it feels more real, friendly, and smooth.”

All those with whom I connected; a framing of the supervision relationship took place. It brought contracting to life for me i.e., it feels more real, friendly, and smooth. With each potential supervisee, the contracting was initially verbal. I met with the person, and through the rapport building, seamlessly wove in questions which helped us both to understand the needs of the supervisee, what they wanted from me, where they were on their journey and where they wanted to go.

The least successful of these occurred in a stiff and formal way and as always, the most challenging things can be the most insightful. It occurred with a coaching student, and he was ‘interviewing’ various potential supervisors. In hindsight, the brief uneasy meeting was dictated by him questioning and testing the supervisor. I fully appreciate investigating a number of ‘suppliers’ to find the best fit, it was the way in which this was done unnerved me. Incidentally, I did reproach him suggesting it would be respectful if he outlined his intentions to the supervisor at the start of the meet-up.

“the hour-long meetings flew by, there was an immediate sense of trust and openness and the contracting flowed throughout the conversation as they shared their experiences, frustrations, needs and wants.”

My learning from this is to be aware of that type of being ‘tested’ unawares. At the start of the connection, ascertain whether I am being ‘interviewed’ or if the person is open to a collaborative, rapport-building conversation. With the other potential supervisees, the hour-long meetings flew by, there was an immediate sense of trust and openness and the contracting flowed throughout the conversation as they shared their experiences, frustrations, needs and wants.

What was my early approach to Coaching Supervision?

Throughout the explorative meet-up, I share my understanding of Coaching Supervision with the supervisee including the three functions of supervision. I very briefly refer to them as formative, normative and restorative as outlined by Proctor (1986) and then explain in layman terms my approach. EMCC outlines the Hawkins and Smith (2013) functions which are developmental, qualitative, and resourcing respectively. My approach, I explain, is very much in the restorative space, supporting the wellbeing of the coach, really trying to understand where they are on their journey, acknowledging and accepting that, and then the formative and normative functions will naturally flow throughout our dialogues. I see myself more in the facilitative space, as outlined by Heron (1975) – supportive, catalytic and cathartic, with the authoritative approach – informative, prescriptive, confronting, delivered via my style of ‘main de fer dans un gant de velours’… an iron hand in a silk glove.

“It is through this viewpoint I encounter each supervisee as individuals with their melody of life experiences.”

My capacity as a supervisor is informed via my own lifelong journey, not just my coaching journey but all the experiences I have had, my upbringing, my education opportunities, my personal and professional experiences. The skills embraced on the coaching diploma and the Coaching Supervision diploma have honed me and allow me to adopt an identity within the boundaries of professional standards while allowing creativity for who I am and who I evolve into as an industry professional. It is through this viewpoint I encounter each supervisee as individuals with their melody of life experiences.

The self-awareness which we both bring forms the basis for our collaborative, non-judgmental and respectful relationship awareness. Coaching Supervision is intriguing on many levels with the systemic lens most intriguing of all. The systemic lens, seeing the bigger picture and taking a helicopter view is innate within me but stepping back deliberately as we do with the 7-Eyed Model of Supervision has opened a whole new expanse, a view within a view within a view. An infinity mirror effect. Supporting the supervisee through a layered dimension perspective provides great depth and feels very rewarding, as though one is always only skimming the surface and will never get to the deep inner kernel.

My experience of group supervision dynamics has been informed by two different angles. Through facilitating groups of coaches to reflect upon their journey as a coach and skills developed via 1-1 sessions. Group supervision includes leading and guiding a group, holding a safe and trusting space as well as managing the structure of the intervention. Via holding a safe space, as a leader and creating a team feel, as above, I am an unswerving member of a dependable InterVision group, a group which meets every eight weeks, unfailingly. Meeting with that group always leaves me with a heart warmed to the core, a blissful state where each person is valued as they are, and an air of candid sincerity prevails.

“Siobhan’s presence facilitates a deeply reflective space for the client. In particular with
very self-reflective clients this is a beautiful skill to witness and created a very powerful
session, a lot deeper than the client originally anticipated.…..The session was a deeply spiritual
and profound experience for the client which is a testament for Siobhan’s natural
presence in the supervision space.“

The feedback I have received from my peers is humbling. Such as, “you hold an extremely special space; a space I feel I can trust very deeply. It allows me to tell my truth and you tell my truth back. A profound spiritual and meaningful space.’
Another feedback from an experienced supervisor in the profession is “your presence alone unlocks things.” Other peer feedback is that ‘you show wisdom and clarity, you are very present, you get through layers of things and get to the core, smart, wise, you show sensibility, calm, steady, still, not wasteful.” “Siobhan’s presence facilitates a deeply reflective space for the client. In particular with
very self-reflective clients this is a beautiful skill to witness and created a very powerful
session, a lot deeper than the client originally anticipated.…..The session was a deeply spiritual
and profound experience for the client which is a testament for Siobhan’s natural
presence in the supervision space.“

Conclusion

Engaging in Coaching Supervision is not a luxury, it is a necessity. Many coaches are independent with their own practices and in this sense, having an independent sounding board, a person with whom we can journey the journey with is imperative. Being able to be honest, straightforward, a space where our needs are met and our self developed and evolved is a gift!

Please drop me a note! Many thanks, Siobhán.